Until a victim of domestic violence has complete safety and feels that the police and those protecting her or him is believed and feels safe. No other steps can happen safety always comes first and needs to be there for any other step to be taken. A victim will not leave a violent situation without safety actions steps taken these need to be done first so he or she can leave and remain safe. It has been found that leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence so these safety action steps need to be taken. It is no good to just hope that they are safe real steps need to be taken and every domestic violence situation is different to the next. So police and support workers need to talk to the victim to find out what needs to be done to keep her or him safe in her or his case. Victims need to be completely open and honest about the facts and tell the police everything that is happening to them. There is no point hiding some of the facts for the police to do their job and keep you safe you need to tell them everything that is happening to you. Their is no shame in going to the police I know that I would feel ashamed to be in such a bad situation but the shame is not yours its the abusers. Victims will be reluctant to leave a dangerous situation without this support taken by police. I know that for me this was where everything fell down for me. As soon as I left the police station or went home my life was in danger again and would end up back in captivity again with my abuser. It made it really hard to trust the police to keep me safe because so many times they had not keep me safe and my life and other people I knew had their life put in danger trying to protect me as I was in so much danger. So I really do understand how important this step is to be able to leave a violent situation. Make a safety plan with the police or your support workers so you have a plan ready of what you will do when what your abuser has done to you or has threatened to do to you before happens to you so you are ready and prepared. Many a victim has gone back with their abuser or given up getting help and standing up for her or himself because this step was not done well enough. You can get your family and friends neighbours and colleagues at work all involved in this the more support you have the better it is for you. There will be no improvement able to take place without this step taken and kept in place. Often the victim will need to be moved to a safer place where the abuser can not find her or him. You need to remain physiologically strong at this time and don’t back down. Your support workers and police have great insight and experience to use so believe and trust them with what they tell you. It is a great idea at this time to educate yourself about domestic violence knowledge is power and the more you understand about this the better it is for you. So many victims have told me if I knew about the cycle of domestic violence or understood it better I would of left the situation a lot earlier and handled the situation better. So get educated it does matter and is the first step after safety and your then on your way of having a better, happier, safer life. Many victims leave many times till they finally make it and that’s OK it can take a few times till they finally leave an abuser each time they will be a step closer to getting away and leaving the abuse behind. The longer a victim has been programmed by an abuser the harder it is to stand up to them and then to leave the police and support workers will need to work hard with this victim as it will be harder for this victim to leave and to have faith of a better life. You may need to work on the programming that has taken place first to be able to get this victim of being in a place of feeling that they can now leave. That help is available for them and they can have safety in their life again.
Moral: Go to police and get a safety plan so that you can be safe from domestic violence!
For more information on my true story you can read it on the website www.stopalldomesticviolence.com in my bio called voices from inside.