My son was sexually abuse by his stepsister and the father and both times I believed and supported him with counselling and love. It is easy to try to make it go away but the problem is sexual assault damage does not go away until you get support and work on the issues. You just end up with more problems if you try to bury the sexual assault and not talk about it. Usually it just comes out as another addition drugs, drinking, gambling, sex, food. The only way out is through and it can be hard road but very necessary one to take. I know from experience the pain does not go away with time it just sits inside you and eating away at you. I spent years not able to sleep, feeling outraged inside at what happened to me. It does not matter how long ago the abuse happened to you go for help and get counselling you will feel better for doing this. So the sooner you deal with it and the feelings the better it is for you then you can start to heal and have a better healthier life and feel whole again.
When children tell you about what happened to them always believe them and support them in anyway that you can. Get information to read so that you know what to do and how to support them. Never say that did not happen or you or you are wrong or any comment like that ever. Having a person believing you and supporting you is very important for a victims recovery it is the first step of healing of telling about the secret. It is a huge emotional relief to a victim to tell about this. My son’s father wanted to pretend that it did not happen and to forget about it, to get no help for my son. As a sexual assault victim myself I was outraged by his reaction and in the end I stood up to him and what he said and wanted to do to protect my son. Dispite being in lots of danger and in long bay jail visits area. I stood up in the visits area in front of inmates who had already threatened my life if I leave and stop visiting my abuser and I finally said to him “You might be able to do this to me but you are not going to do this to our son. No way you can send every hit-man from long bay after me. I don’t care our son is going to get help and support and we will report it to authorities. I am not going to pretend it did not happen ever to keep you happy. We actually marched out of long bay jail that day and left him.”I don’t recommend putting your life in danger like this but I do believe that you need to support children at all cost they always come first they can not look after themselves like adults. Sexual abuse is so damaging to a child’s life they need help and support from a professional counsellor so they can heal from this. Also the abuser needs to be made to take responsibility for what they have done so you need to report it to authorities so that it does not happen to anyone else after you. I reported the abuse to our support agencies to police and to docs that day as soon as we got home. I refused to not believe and support my son to take care of his welfare and life because it was more important to me. As many victims of sexual assault do take their life because the feelings that come up from this are so horrible for them to live with.
Moral: Always believe children who say they have been sexually assaulted by anyone!
For more information on my true story “voices from inside” you can look at the business website www.stopalldomesticviolence.com.