Abusers Cycle Of Violence

This information is from my Domestic Violence Course, My Own Experiences, Research And Downloads From Source. It can not be copied, used or stolen from me as it is copyrighted. This information applies to both men and women as both can be abused by an abuser. These are the feelings and behaviours the abuser goes thought when going through the violent cycle.

Build Up

Little things are building up for them, there are put down comments said to the victim, they have unmet expectations, holding stored resentment towards the victim, are feeling like shit, holding jealously for victim, feel let down emotionally and physically, Very irritable and disappointed.

Standover

Feeling that the other person is backing them into a corner, That the other person is provoking them on purpose, That they are asking for it from the abuser. That the victim actually wants to be abused by the abuser.



Build up

Little things are building up for them, there are put downs comments said to the victim, they have unmet expectations, holding stored resentment towards the victim, feel let down emotionally and physically, very irritable and disappointed.

Stand over
Feeling that the other person is backing them into a corner. that the other person is provoking them on purpose. that they are asking for it from the abuser.

Explosion

Anger, rage, put downs, physical or mental attacks of the other person the victim, feeling misunderstood, lousy, rejected, drained, fearful, anxious, tense, having a kill knot in the stomach.

Remorse

Relief, pissed off, showing compassion, don’t feel good inside, fucked up, ugly, guilty, shame, empty, let down the self, saying sorry but don’t really mean it, disappointed in the self.

Buy Back

Sucking up to the victim, buying flowers or presents,
going out for dinner or treats, wanting to make up, fixing things around the house, talking nicely, acting like nothing really happened before, feeling scared, make the other person feel like they are the boss and in charge, doing anything to stop the other person from leaving them.

Honeymoon

Problems are solved, feeling peaceful, make up sex, relaxed, smiling, saying they will change and get better, promises of better behaviour.

They need to leave and work on themselves before they have any other relationships with anyone. When they have done the inner work to work on the wound then they are really to be in a relationship again. If you are experiencing violence contact the police in your country for help with this.