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This is a form of excessive, rigid self-regard that paradoxically destroys the way successful relationships or the very success of relationships of image, it seeks to protect itself. This is like false pride or habitual, it acts as a defensive mechanism, that prevents personal growth to the being. It masks insecurity with a facade of superiority and ultimately leads to the downfall or stagnation, inflexibility and defensiveness. Prideful individuals often refuse to admit mistakes, or to accept criticism, leading to repeated errors and strained relationships. They never need to be perfect which is impossible, to be polished in our self image. So the individual is terrified to break, which leads to a fear of being vulnerable, and to then having rejection of genuine connection, and to then have self rejection and self-obsession. True pride is a form of self forgetfulness, while self- defeating pride is a constant rejection of oneself. Whether through arrogance or self-degradation, to bear one self up with entitlement, it fosters the belief that one deserves special treatment, or maximum results for minimal effort. This causes frustration when reality fails to meet this evaluating of others around them. It is done to maintain a superior self- image, pride often requires towering others, through judgement or arrogance and refusing to ask for help, so you work alone to prove your own worth, then have burnout and failure. It can be relationship avoidance, when the real person, the imperfect- self is shown to others so the person is gone emotionally and not really there. There is idealised image is threatened, lack of being reachable, failing to learn new skills, adapting to having to know it all attitude. Self- defeating pride is an inability to apologise, protecting their frail ego, justifying poor actions, causing deeper conflicts. There is no success and insecurity, experiencing no success or hiding their own security with a false image, warning of the pride, caused a relationship, issue or a performance loss. There is error and deception, the person refuses to acknowledge the error, blaming others, or ignoring feedback that is helpful to them. The downfall is the refusal to change behaviour, leading to a major setbacks and failure at the end.

Overcoming self defeating pride Requires having humility, thinking less of oneself, thinking of oneself less, being vulnerable, being authentic, using gratitude, acknowledge talents of others, achievements, gifts, collaboration and serving others. We can say “I don’t know the answer.”

A questions to ask yourself is how can you help others raise here?

Intentionally engage in tasks that are not glamorous, recognise this shift from self promotion, to service to others. Seek feedback actively, invite others to point out areas of improvements, receiving it without becoming defensive.