So what is Bait and Switch anyway? Bait and switch is a tactic that is often seen and used in domestic violence and it is controlling and manipulation of another person. It is when you are in an argument with a person and they change the conversation to suit there personal agenda. They bring in some information that is not relevant to claim the point they are trying to make. It is done to control the conversation being made. It can feel like having the rug pulled out from under you so you are off balance and feel confused about what is happening to you and what to do about it. Whenever it is done it is a harmful tactic to use on you and is done for manipulation of you and also control of you. It needs to be seen for what it is and is a form of deception when a person promises something that the other person desires or needs then they switch the thing for something else that is of lesser value so the promised thing that is given will fall short of the agreement that was made to you.  You may feel betrayed and can lose trust for your partner when this has happened to you over many times. You will feel resentful and can even cause a breakdown of the relationship that you have with them. It will feel like your partner is not being honest with you and could of let you down in some way. In order to have a strong foundation in your relationship there needs to be complete trust and respect of both partners. There are different types of bait and switch that can be used on you in your relationships. Some forms are very mild and subtle to being very overt and in your face actions. An example of bait and switch could be  promising to show commitment to you and not doing this at all. It is when you pretend to be or do something but not doing the thing promised or agreed on. Also it can be withholding affection or intimacy with your partner using emotional manipulation so they get what they want in the relationship. When you have an understanding of the tactics that are being used on you and how you are deceived this is the important first step so you can make changes that need to be made. This is also gaslighting and manipulating someones experiences so they doubt them self, their own knowing and their experience, perceptions, memories and will deny an event happened for you. The truth is it did happen and you are not mad or crazy you are being set up and played with. You will be told that they are overacting or are being irrational when in fact you are not. This is gas lighting and is very damaging behaviour for you to experience and will affect your self esteem and self belief also your mental health. Bait and switch is being done to completely control another personal life. The controller wants you to do what they want you to do. It can happen gradually so you don’t notice what is really going on until you stop and look back and everything that has happened then you will see the pattern of behaviour and all the signs. It is when a person makes threats to you or promises you something so they get what they want to happen in your life.  This behaviour will always start small and then increase is quantity until it gets bigger and bigger and they escalate their bad behaviour. There will always be unmet promises made to you, there are changes of behaviour seen and even changes in their personality with no transparency or honesty that is shown to you. Often you will feel like you are walking on egg shells with them never knowing how you stand or what is going on. These are all big warning signs to look out for and to be awake to. This can also happen in different kinds of relationships not just romantic ones but business and family or friend relationships. You may see it in job  offers with lots of benefits told to you when in fact this is just a lie that is being told to you. The truth is you will not get any of this happening that was promised. All promises made to you will be found to not happen or to be false and none of it will be fulfilled to you as you wished.  This can be a friendship that looks and acts supportive but is not and ends up being very manipulating and controlling even selfish behaviour. This is a form of deception used to fool you into believing their lies and empty promises. It can be important for you to speak your truth to the person doing this behaviour and tactics to voice all your concerns with them. You can speak to a counsellor which can be helpful to you so you feel supported. The person who is doing this behaviour has many insecurities that they need to work on so that they can become a better person. They believe that the only way to get their personal needs met is to use these low tactics on you and others around them. It will be found that they have a fear of commitment and they like to control others so that they can get their own way in the world. They honestly believe that using these tactics is the only way to behave and is actually ok to do this. The truth is they need to work on their own inner wounds and issues so they can do better and learn some real lessons in their life. Others have been found to behave like this as they can’t deal with being alone and showing their real selves to the world they are in. Inside they are thinking if others only knew how they really feel they would not want anything to do with them and would leave them. They have huge issues with trust and feel vulnerable to others is very hard for them to do. you need to tell them that you know they are using bait and switch with you and confront them with the truth. When you experience this abuse you will feel betrayed by the person who is showing a false self to themselves and the world. Anyone who has a upper hand on others or in a relationship has personal issues. They need to learn to love themselves to have a healthy self esteem. Their issues can lead to anger issues and lots of resentment held in their body which then leads to ill health and sickness. Their behaviour has caused irreparable damage to themselves and to other relationships. It can be hard to talk about this issue with the abuser but you must talk about it so it is confronted personally by them. If you want a healthy relationship you need to talk about this and confront the issues and the problem that is happening. You need to set very clear boundaries in your life with this person and tell them what you will and will not accept from them in the future going forward. You also need to explain to the person how their behaviour has made you feel so that you feel heard and can heal from this type of abuse.