So what is Love bombing? It is When  a person lavishes gifts, attention and affection on another person. It can also be manipulation of another person. It is always over the top and above what is normal. It is always emotionally abusive and controlling. There have been found to be three different stages of love bombing idealising, devaluing and discarding of a person who was targeted. One of the main reasons it can be done to you is to force your trust on another person that you know.  It is done to gain your trust in them and to think that they have your best interest at heart when in fact this is all a lie. Having a person rush this trust process that you hold for them is like a big warning sign for you to look out for and is not right. The goal of the abuser is for you to be dependent on them in all ways. To lose your belief in yourself and what you can do.  Often they will make you feel that their needs are more important than yours and that you should not listen to your own judgement about things. They believe there life is more important than your and that they need to have all there needs met by you. This is another red flag to look out for when you  are meeting new people. You will often feel overwhelmed and confused as things have moved way to fast for you to deal with. For example you have just met this person and now they want to move in with you and marry you in the same day. Their love for you is too intense and is not realistic with the real world that you live in. This person will state that they have to be with you and that they can not live without you in their life. They may even want to be with you for 24hrs a day with no break ever. This is another red flag for you to look out for when starting a new relationship. Often they will give you continual compliments and over the top exclamations of love and devotion for you with lots of grand gestures of love being used or even expensive gifts. Love bombing is emotional manipulation and it will boost the love bombers ego when it is done.

You may like to ask yourself “What is the price of being in a relationship like this?” The price is not good in any way for you at all. It is not a way to show love to you but a way to actually control your life. It is toxic and abusive behaviour. You will feel many different emotions at the same time from confused, important, overwhelmed, happy and even uncomfortable. The love and attention that is shown to you is excessive and not normal behaviour. The more the abuser shows you affection and attention the harder it is for you to see what is actually happening to you. Here is a list of the events that can happen to you if you are love bombed by an abuser. Love bombing is just another tool an abuser uses on you to get you to agree to their needs. It is using domestic violence on you and needs to be seen for what it is.

1 Over the top gifts and presents

2 constant compliments given to you.

3 Demanding your attention and not wanting you to be away from them.

4 Doing things publicly so others can see how much they love you and spoil you.

 5 Being to  intense and unbalanced in a short time of knowing the person.

6 You will feel guilted to show them the same amount of love back to them when ever you do not feel it and it is real for you.

You will feel very manipulated with all of these tactics being used on you so you are event guilt tripped to do what they want you to do. Also you can feel ashamed, gaslighted with unrealistic expectations of you and your emotions. Your feelings will be invalidated and made to feel small so you do not feel worthy in yourself. All of this behaviour is unhealthy and is being dishonest it is not real love. So take note of all the red flags that you see in the relationship. It is a relationship that is based on power and control. Make sure you use your boundaries to keep yourself safe from others around you. Get yourself educated about this so that you understand what is really going on and you see it for what it is control of you. If you need to see a counsellor or find out more that is a great idea. Look on line for services that are near you or you can look in your local area for the services that you need to help you with this!. Getting support and educating yourself is a great idea and the more you have the better and healthier your life will be.