Yesterday while at a stall a man came up to talk. We talked for a while but he refused to leave and continued to tell me that it was my job to fix his problems in his life. He sat on the bench near my stall for four hours trying to get me to fix his life. That he wanted me to do the work and make him feel better about losing his mum and other problems. I advised him to see a councillor, with this he repied by saying I tryed that but did not make me feel better. Then he said that he wanted to be around me all the time cos you make me feel better. He also said that he would follow me and be with me everywhere I went, which is not ok and does not make me feel very safe. While I felt sad for this person I am not responsible for his life and will not be made to feel like I am. As a result of his comments to me I had to leave the stall as he would not leave or stop.  I am not responsible for fixing anyone’s life but my own. We are all responsible for fixing our issues and problems each of us must do the work ourselves. It is not up to someone else to make us feel happier. True happiness come from inside not from an outside source or from someone else.

This man was very young and he has a lot to learn still, others can advise you, guide you but you must do the work on yourself no one else can do it for you. Years ago when I was in domestic violence I too believed that it was my job to fix my man’s problems and to make him happy. But when I got educaed about domestic violence and read lots of books, had lots of couselling I realized that this was wrong and that each person is responsible for their own journey. An abuser is responsible for the abuse on you but the victim is responsible for their own healing and recovery. It can be a hard lesson to learn but it is an important one all the same. You can either stay a slient victim or you can spend time working on you and making your life better. The choice is your alone. So use this time to do the work on you because you will be better from that and will have such a better life. Lots of the information I learnt helped me when dealing with my son, with other personal relationships and in life in general.

So get educated I highly recommend it you will use this information for the rest of your life. Get books out of the library or order from a book store or online. I give out a list of books that are great to read at my stalls and the list is also on the website. Here is the list for you to order some books to read and educate yourself. Lots of these books I have read and would recommend them to you. Another idea is  to join a group lots of womens centres have groups for domestic violence and they educate and run courses for domestic violence. There is also online information that you can get for free and educate yourself that way. But what ever you do education makes a big difference to your life.

List of books I recommend for reading about Domestic Violence