There are reasons why a victim will not leave abuse which are many and include having a false belief that they need to work on and change.  This can get in the way of leaving as you can have a belief like “You have to support your man no matter what” or something similar. Which makes it hard for you to leave the violent situation when you need to. Another thing that can hold you back is having  a personal value that is different from what you are being told to do by authorities. if you have a belief or a personal value that is making it hard for you go and see a physiologist for help with this so that you are able to make a decision about what is best for you. A big problem is often not being educated about abuse and understanding that it always gets worse in every case and not better. So the sooner you leave the better it is for you and your children. Contact a crisis centre so that you get the education that you need to help you to do better and understand what is happening to you. Many victims do not know about the different forms of abuse so getting educated is very helpful to you so you know about what is really happening to you. Another big problem can be not having a safe place to go to this can make it really hard for you to leave the situation. See your crisis centre for help with this too as they often have places for you to go to and have contact with agencies that can help. Your abuser has threatened you or someone you love if you leave. This can leave you stuck in fear and unable to move forward with a decision and take action for you.  It is important for you to speak to the agencies supporting you and the police for help with this as it is another form of abuse to do this to you. Some victims have been through so much that they are programmed to stay and cannot make a decision when this has happened it may take time for the victim to feel safe enough they may need to see a counsellor for this too. There are cases where the person stays because they are getting some benefit in some way by staying could be financial could emotional. This needs to be resolved for them to be able to leave so see a counsellor. There are cases where the person needs more support to be able to leave and their safety needs to be taken care of first so they can leave. In my experience these are the reasons for a person staying in an abusive situation. When these issues are resolved it is much easier for the person to leave and to never go back to abuse.

 

 1. They have a false belief to work on and change.

2. They have a personal value they believe in that needs to be worked on changed with a counsellor.IE All good woman stay with their man.

3. They need education about abuse and domestic violence so that they understand about the cycle and how it all works and fits together also the different types of abuse.

4. They have now where safe to go.

5. There is a threat to your life or another persons life if you live.

6. They are programmed by abuse and fear and need to be re programmed.

7. They are getting something out of staying in the abuse. Someway they are benefiting could be financial or emotional. But somehow there is a benefit that they value so they do not want to leave.

8. They are in chronic fear for their life need counselling first and extra support also some safety action steps put in first.