Experts will tell you that there is terrible damage being done to your children when they hear or see domestic violence happening around them. Also it is a proven fact if you speak to any victim who has experienced this they will also tell you the same thing. The violence does not have to be done personally to them just witnessing and hearing it is enough to change their brains for life. Don’t stay for the children’s sake you need to leave for the children’s sake to keep them safe and give them their best chance of a good life. Every incident they witness is causing damage to their brain for life. Be a a good role model and leave for their wellbeing and safety. Its also a proven fact that domestic violence always gets worse so don’t wait for it to get better as it doesn’t ever! When children see or hear violence happening to those around them it sends a powerful message to them that their life and wellbeing doesn’t matter or have any value. Their self esteem is affected for life something that they will have to work very hard to fix for many, many years afterwards. Children’s brains are damaged by seeing any violence or abuse. Expecially in the first few years the damage from this is the worst to fix and overcome. Babies brains are like a sponge and take in every thing that is happening around them they know when their is violence. Children who are subject to this violence have many, many problems later in life. I understand that it is hard to leave. I really do understand how hard this is as I have been where you are and needed to leave for my and child’s safety but you need to be strong and brave for your children. Go for help contact the police 000 or docs or an agency in your area to get you some help you need to get out for everyones safety. Don’t give up keep trying to get away and get the support that you need for this. All domestic violence is a crime and it needs to be reported. Also all types of domestic violence are causing damage not just the physical the verbal and emotional is just as bad.
I have just read a book that talks about this called What happened to you? By Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D Perry MD.Ph.D. In this book it talks about real cases of abuse and the effects it has on the person. it also talks about how to help the person so they do better. I would suggest any one who is a victim of domestic violence or any kind of abuse read this book so you understand what it happening to you. Also those people who work with people affected by this need to read this book too. It will help you to understand what happens to the brain as a result and how to help the person so they can heal and do better. It is also very easy to read and understand with clear picture and real case studies used.
Here are some of the problems children can have when they may have seen or heard violence.
Low self esteem
Feeling of no value and importance
Long term emotional effects
Problems learning new skills
Depression and anxiety
Always feeling to blame
People pleasers not standing up for self
Long term trauma
Acting out or withdrawn behaviour
Problems with social function
Problems with cognitive development